Thoughts on Happiness

by B.J. Stolbov

Living in a foreign country is an opportunity to learn about a different culture, a different way of seeing and responding to the world.  It provides an opportunity to immerse yourself in new customs and traditions, and to see what really matters and is important to people around the world. It is also an opportunity to examine, from a distance, your own customs and traditions and, most important, your own cultural assumptions.

I was born and raised and lived in the United States all my life, until I was almost 60 years old. Then, I joined the Peace Corps and was assigned to the Philippines, to Quirino Province in northern Luzon, to the municipality of Cabarroguis, to the barangay (barrio) of Zamora. There, I learned some things from Filipinos about happiness.

Eyes of curiosity, Luzon, Philippines. Photo by Daniel Peckham via Flickr CCL

Before I start telling you about my discoveries, I need to offer this disclaimer. What follows is full of generalizations. For the sake of brevity and for effect, I have purposely taken out all the “sometimes,” “occasionallys,” and “almosts.” You can add them and I won’t mind – almost. 

I believe that truth is circular, actually spherical, like the world. You can turn truth around, and even upside down, and still find some truths in it.  When I moved to the other side of the world, the truths that I was raised with, that I had always held dear, that I thought were the only possible truths, were turned around, especially what I learned in the last three years about happiness and success.

In the U.S., success is happiness. If you have money, a good job, a solid place to live, a car, a computer, a television, or a big-screen television, the latest electronic equipment, and a full-funded retirement account, you are successful. You can be happy, proud of yourself, of what you’ve accomplished, and of the things you own.

In the Philippines, it’s another way around.  Happiness is success. If you have good health, a good family, parents, spouse, children, relatives, trusted friends, supportive neighbors, pleasant companions at work, a community of people who like you and whom you like, you are successful. Happiness is who you are and with whom you are. Happiness isn’t something that you will get only in the future; and happiness isn’t dependent upon what you do for a living or what you own.

Happiness isn’t something you get after you get everything else; happiness is something you have before your get everything else.

Click to read more ...

Searching for Happiness with a child in Copenhagen

by Jenny McBain

Perhaps my nine-year-old son has the makings of a therapist.  A Scottish friend was hosting us in his deluxe apartment in Edinburgh’s Royal Mile the ancient street which wends its way from Edinburgh Castle to Holyrood Palace.   In addition to owning a number of desirable properties, my friend is in possession of a title and sports a   "Sir" in front of his name; but wealth did not buy him happiness feeling distinctly discontent when he sought my son’s council.  

“Ruairidh (Roory), what would you do if you were sixty years old and you had no wife, no children and no job that you really enjoyed?” he asked him.

Without missing a beat, Ruairidh framed his reply with the innocent wisdom that is peculiar to the very young.  “I would try to be like a child, to be happy”, he said.  

But are the majority of  kids really happy? 

Measuring happiness is a tricky business; you may as well try to catch a butterfly with a hula-hoop.   Yet happiness and well-being are being touted as a new currency to be assessed and scored in international league tables alongside Gross Domestic Product.   According to UNICEF’s evaluations, the Scandinavians and the Dutch lead the pack when it comes to the nurturing of their young. And we in the UK and the U.S. are languishing somewhere at the bottom of the third division.  So I set out on a vacation with a mission:  I wanted to find out why the Danes- and their children- are so darned happy. 

Click to read more ...

Life: The Greatest Journey

by Sara Morgan
 
The only thing that can ruin your life is death; everything else is just an experience. Seems obvious, now that I read it. But, this statement has taken me years to write and even longer to truly understand.
 
You see, ten years ago, I began a journey which has taken me to where I am today. I am on a quest for happiness and I know that one of the best ways to achieve that is through a proper work-life balance.
 
I recognized years ago that the life I was leading was not working for me. Even though I had a high paying corporate job, nice house, nice car, nice husband, even a nice dog, I was not very happy. I was living my life for everyone else and some image that I thought I needed to project.
 
I was constantly racing around trying to exemplify this idea that my life was perfect. I was volunteering for things I did not respect, throwing parties for people I did not like, and doing jobs that I did not believe in. I was even known to have bought and wrapped all of my Christmas presents before the end of October. All of this, so I could maintain my perfect image, which was perfectly fake.

Click to read more ...