Trip Tips for Coming Home
by Judith Fein
The worst part of travel isn’t the security checkpoints with prison-issue wands, puffs of air blowing in your face or gloved agents pawing through your belongings. It’s not the airline seats with their lumbar supports that spear your spine or the $2.25 you pay for a small bottle of filtered tap water at airport restaurants. It’s not the jetlag—which can be so brutal that your left foot doesn’t know where your right foot is walking—or the suitcase that vanished with the travel clothes, gadgets and gear you have spent half a decade assembling.
;)
The worst part of travel is actually coming home. One day you are in Peru, gaping at Machu Picchu or in Quebec City, learning about why the English and the French both coveted the area. Maybe you’ve been cycling in Italy, trekking in Nepal, cruising down the Nile in Egypt, or sauna hopping in Finland. The next day, you open the door to your digs and…chaos.
The answering machine is blinking, there are hundreds or thousands of emails, the snail mail spills over the edge of a huge tub and stares at you from the floor. There are bills to be paid, deadlines to be met, appointments to be kept. Your hair needs new highlights, your car is due for servicing, there’s a leak in your office, you forgot to send your sister-in-law a birthday gift. The exotic fades as you slip into the quotidian and start trouble-shooting, catching up, returning calls, and squirming in the dentist’s chair. Hooray! You are home.
I have not yet figured out how to make homecoming a celebration. But I have a few tips if you are as overwhelmed as I am when you step over your own welcome mat.
1) Even if you are committed to NOT being wired when you travel, try to check your email at least once before the big return.
You will have a good idea of what awaits you and can perhaps forestall a crisis or two.
2) Set the vacation response on your computer before you leave on a trip. It can say something like, “Hi, there. Sorry I will be a continent away from my computer from (fill in the date) to (fill in the end date). I will respond to you upon my return.” This lets folks know that you weren’t ignoring them, and they learn when you will be back so they can re-contact you then.
3) When you set the vacation response, allow yourself a day or two to land. Pick a return date that is day or two after your actual homecoming.
4) Don’t schedule too many things for the first week of your return. Allow yourself to re-acclimate slowly.
5) Do something pleasurable for yourself. A bath in Dead Sea salts. Print out your favorite photos from the trip. Go for a wrap and massage. Go to bed early. The emails will not evaporate if you don’t answer them right away.
6) Tell selected friends and family a few trip highlights, so the memories stay vivid and fresh in your mind.
7) Contact a new friend from the trip and moan a little about how overwhelming it is to come home and how you wish you were back on the trip again.
Bon voyage and bon retour. If you have any other tips for landing softly, by all means let me know. If you get my vacation response, you will know that the homecoming was too much, and I’m on the road again.
Judith Fein is a cofounder of YourLifeIsATrip.com and award-winning travel journalist who has contributed to more than 85 publications. With her husband, Paul Ross, she travels the globe, writing, photographing, making videos and giving talks.
17 Comments
Reader Comments (17)
Judie -
This really is the truth! Traveling is so great, but then coming home can be such a slap of reality. No one back home understands why you aren't jumping right back into the grove and it's hard to explain why you have such a new perspective on life. Traveling changes you (in a positive way) and I think you really don't understand how much until you get back home.
Thanks for these tips.
These are great and I know you have utilized all of these.
All the best - Jan Myers
ah, jan, thanks for validating the coming-home experience. there should be a love-to-travel-overwhelmed-when-returning-home club.
Judie -
Since you're such a knowledgeable and wise traveler, it's good that you talk about the end of the trip and ways to ease the transition between life on the road and life at home. Your suggestions make a lot of sense. I look forward to hear how they're working for you.
nancy, how about some tips from YOU? i am sure you can add to what i have written...
Judie
You are right of course, but after a recent three week trip the feel of my own bed was fabulous. Unfortunately the morning after the return it was up and off to an important 9AM meeting and I never got that respite you wisely recommend.
tim, do you have any suggestions at all that work for you?
Nice tips. I would add that when walking through the back door after the 12-hour return trip home, I try to do so with a smile. Since I have a husband and a passel of kids and animals waiting for me on the other side of that door, I've learned that they are going to be happy to see me -- that my return means that order will return to their universe -- so I try to leave my travel woes on the back steps before crossing the threshhold.
Judie, as always, you hit home (no pun intended) with another great article! Love, love, love what you share with us.
I'm also enjoying following the discussion it's inspired. As much as I love to travel, I also enjoy being at home. Home is my haven. Home is where my husband, Hank, greets me. Home is where I recharge.
Thanks to all,
Ellen
rachel and ellen, i love what you have to say. i write to learn....
Judie
I love your writing Judie....very entertaining! I appreciate the tips about taking some time re-integrate upon returning home after a trip. I love the bath, self-care idea, talking to a friend or two and keeping the journey alive...coming to reality slowly. Thanks for your wise travel expertise...and for the laughs.
I promptly sent this to my friend who trots the Globe and returns home to the "overwhelm" that awaits her every time. I'm sure she can relate and perhaps will add a tip or two. As for me, I've lost "home" again and have been couch surfing since August in L.A. I haven't seen my mail because the post office returned it all. And the sense of rootlessness makes me crave a load of kiddies and bills awaiting at some spot that is my headquarters. What a luxury it is for folks to have a home to return to...IMHO. Enjoy!
I promptly sent this to my friend who trots the Globe and returns home to the "overwhelm" that awaits her every time. I'm sure she can relate and perhaps will add a tip or two. As for me, I've lost "home" again and have been couch surfing since August in L.A. I haven't seen my mail because the post office returned it all. And the sense of rootlessness makes me crave a load of kiddies and bills awaiting at some spot that is my headquarters. What a luxury it is for folks to have a home to return to...IMHO. Enjoy!
sedena, thanks for being a great, supportive reader. and marlan, ouch. you are in such a transitional time. you WILL have a home to come home to and hopefully NOT be overwhelmed.
Judie, I love this. My friend has post-trip-matic stress syndome every time he leaves my house after an overnight, to find his house manned my his daughter, her girlfriend, two dogs and two cats in chaos. How can so many dishes get dirty in 24 hours?
Tonight, we did spend tonight mowing his lawn, so at least that's a welcome mat! My daughter is getting more and more responsible about feeding horses and so forth. Maybe she'll even heve the dishes done! Great to read you. Excellent article. Carol Berg
love your comments and cleverness, carol!
1. I put fresh sheets on the bed before we leave.
2. We clean, or have cleaned, the house, including empty the dishwasher and do all laundry.
3. I stock the fridge and freezer with a few 'treats' to brighten up meal making. I'm not above leaving pre-mixed martinis in the freezer either.
catherine, i love your ideas!